well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think I am morally bankrupt
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
