is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
