Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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