So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize