I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
