forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize