I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
