I wannas sexs uuuuu
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
