so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My vagina is officially offended.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
