I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
