That's when you crack a 10am beer
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
