i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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