i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We left an ass print on the piano.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
