return my video game
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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