office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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