I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
