giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
