I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
