the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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