ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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