i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
