these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
