She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
