Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
