I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
