What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
