Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
