I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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