sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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