I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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