K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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