So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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