Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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