She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
