Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
