Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
