ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
