belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
