I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
