he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
