You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize