White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
