wake up i wanna do it froggy style
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
