I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Randomize
