The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
