It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
