thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
