My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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