New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
