420 ftw
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
