kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Your penis caused this!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
