So drunk its hurt
Sponge bath it is.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just googled if crying burns calories
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
