Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I will be naked everywhere
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
