Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
