dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
