yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
