Define "chronic" masturbator.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
