quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
