Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
