is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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