ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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