I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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