What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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