maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
